Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Is it that time already?

2006 eh? Jamie (my edest boy) says he doesn't like the shape of 2006 and he misses 2005. I'm ambivalent about it as yet. The end of 2005 had so many twists and turns that I haven't really taken much notice of 2006 yet.

Two weeks before the end of December I decided enough was enough and it was time to be single (I'm pretty positive that whoever wrote the script of my life went on to a lucrative career writing Eastenders Christmas specials.) Faced with a chronic illness, 3 kids, 5 acres, a pig about to farrow, a pregnant ewe who always produces twins who need to be bottle fed and something else.... what was it?.....oh yes..... Christmas, I settled myself down to cave in and weep like the forlorn herione I undoubtedly was. I would awake on a bleak Christmas day, swollen of eye and limp of wrist as I bravely prepared Christmas dinner for all. Instead I found that I was just plain bloody furious and I got my head down, my ass up and got on with it. I don't have the build for a weeping heroine and the bodice kept splitting so I figured it was best to rip it off, get my wellies on and scat to 'un. And I did.

Peace talks have taken place and lots of changes are being made. We'll see.

Someone asked me what prompted my decision to separate from my husband. 'I got a dog' I replied. We laughed but there's truth in it. Here's the fella in question:

He's called Caspar and he moved in about 4 months ago. He brought the kind of unconditional love that only a dog can and he has set himself up as my chief protector. Although he's as soft as butter he lets people know he's watching out for me with a gentle growl here and there; he's never far from my side. He's enabled me to realise that emotionally unavailable males have been a pattern in my life so far. Not any more. Thanks Caspar - you pong a bit but I love ya - lol.


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